Let’s Get Vulnerable

I know you’ve heard me talk about how we have to be willing to be vulnerable in order to break through the shackles of our stuff. I’ve witnessed so much bravery from my clients and been grateful to see the breakthroughs as they happen. Sometimes I can forget the importance of being vulnerable in my own life and the value it brings. Just because I have figured out how to create order and beauty in my life doesn’t mean I have resolved every area.

It’s easy to focus on others and help them through their stuff and make suggestions and be a catalyst. Sometimes this is how we avoid what is truly going on in our own lives and I’ve learned that anytime I get hyper-focused on the way someone else is handling a situation, it’s always a good time to go a bit deeper and ask where I see the same behavior in myself,. Rather than complaining about the way things are, it’s usually a sign that action needs to be taken.

Two weeks ago was a challenging time for me. Here are the actions I took when I started to feel some frustration:

1. High School Reunion FB live post: I woke up Monday morning and couldn’t stop thinking about how I wanted people to come to the reunion and I heard that ticket sales weren’t great. I could have just stopped there and shrugged my shoulders, but instead I thought, what can I do, other than complain? So I reached out to the reunion committee to see if they were cool with the idea of me doing a Facebook Live post in reunion group (they were super supportive) and I planned to do it that night. Well, 5 minutes before, I reverted right back to the shy and quiet 14 year old wondering who would possibly want to listen to what I have to say? I did it anyway - many of my old friends commented and we had some laughs. It definitely wasn’t easy, but it helped me connect with some friends, generate some energy and I received some lovely messages from people who thanked me for pushing them a bit.

2. Sept 11 FB post: When I got on FB 10 years ago, I promised myself that I would only post positive messages. I have held true to that. This year, for some reason, I was upset by many of the posts I saw about 9/11 and started blaming. I caught it early and meditated on how I was feeling. During my yoga practice, I realized that I need to write it out. After I wrote it out, I felt the need to share it. I was terrified. How dare I, someone who didn’t lose anyone I knew personally, share my perspective? As soon as I hit share, I cringed, fearful that I would upset someone or get a nasty response. But the complete opposite happened. I had many Thank You’s and Me Too’s and so much love and support that I finally was able to release all of my pent up emotions I had been holding onto for 17 years. Community gives us the power to heal.

3. Last week’s newsletter: Sometimes it’s hard for me to come up with content for webinars or FB Live’s because I need to know I am being helpful and not just creating content for the sake of it. I had been trying too hard to come up with something I hadn’t done before. I didn’t know until I was at the end of writing that post that I was going to offer to to a FB Live of my own seasonal clothing change-over. At first I thought, “I can’t do that!” Why? Because it felt like I might be judged or not do it right.

It’s during these times that we need to share because not only will we learn so much about ourselves, which is always helpful, but when we share we have the opportunity to help others who may feel the exact same way. So I ask you this week, where are you hiding? What might shift if you allow yourself to be a bit more vulnerable? Here’s an opportunity to be vulnerable: share your answers in the comments!

*If you missed the Live on Sunday, you can watch the replay on my Smith Banfield | Clear Space page. Did you watch the live? I’d love to know what was most interesting or valuable for you to learn or what other topics you would like me to cover. Please let me know!

MindsetBecky LinotComment