Working with and hearing from people who give me all the reasons why they should hold onto their stuff has offered me many different perspectives. By “stuff”, I mean all the objects that have no purpose in their everyday lives and act as a magnet for all of the dead energy that comes through their home. While the stories may be different, the underlying issue is fear. There is desperation when they speak about these things, and also shame.
I am happy to help someone create space for any item they would like to have in their lives but the reason to hold on or to let go is never about the story they tell. Their body language, facial expressions and the emotions they exude give me all of the information I need. I share what I see and ask deeper questions. Why are they so conflicted? Is the item a burden that has been put upon them, a life-sentence they must endure, or simply and old pattern of thinking that’s no longer serving them?
I shared before about a woman and her weight-loss endeavors. She had moved from California about two years prior and had brought a large amount of clothing with her - most of which, she admitted, no longer fit. They were in garbage bags under her bed - the only storage space she had - where she was saving them for when she finally released all the extra weight she'd been carrying.
This clothing hadn't been worn in almost three years and took up a lot of space in her apartment, and in her head. I asked why she was holding onto the clothing, and she answered honestly, "Because I am afraid that if I get rid of the clothes, it means I quit on myself and gave up on this goal.”
Here’s what is true: getting these objects into the hands of someone, or many, who can use them to improve their life right now, allows space for something else to come into our own lives, whether it be a lover, a new job or the wardrobe we’ve always wanted. We are the only reason our life feels stuck.
When we take the time to question ourselves with curiosity, not judgement, and learn about who we are today, and who we want to become, we have a new lens through which we can view our stuff from the past.
There may be good intentions behind why we keep certain items, but in the end, we're left with bad feelings. What may seem like just a bittersweet memory is actually a subtle form of self abuse that impacts the energy of our space and mind.
Think about yourself for a minute: Is the person you are right now represented in your home and in the items that surround you or are they holding you back? What's something you've been holding onto for reasons that may no longer make sense to keep? Please share in the comments!